Coveted Silence
by RileyHawthorn
Summary: No one realized how much Natsu's fire brightened the guild until one day his light goes out. Change bears no mercy for Fairy Tail and when things seem to calm the guild members find themselves only in the eye of the storm.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hi everyone. First I would like to extend a welcome and then a thanks for reading this story. This idea sort of just whacked me in the head and once I put pen to paper it blossomed into this baby. I'm quite a proud mother I assure you. Now, onto other things. This story is full of OOCness. I guess I've always hated how Natsu was so well... Natsu. So I took a couple liberties and smacked him around with it a little. Anyhoo let me know how you feel and do judge, judge a lot. Tell me how bad my grammar is or how my plot confuses you. Tell me everything and don't you dare hold back. Now onto the story that I worked so hard on.

P.S: I am growing up and collegebound so don't expect too frequent chapters... I'll try my damndest to put up a new chapter every week or two. (insert winky face here)

Disclaimer: This will probably be the only one because seriously who needs a reminder for every chapter that the disappointing reality of the situation is that I nor any of you do not and will never own the world or characters of Fairy Tail. We, especially myself, can only take them manipulate them and throw them into a petri dish to see how they grow. Pity... I could've been rich really... I could have.

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FAIRY TAIL CHAPTER ONE

**NOT QUITE HOME**

He staggered into his small hut house. Everything was just as he had left it, organized chaos. Natsu was always one to thrive in the midst of chaos. He clutches the wall for support, his body frail and weak. His knuckles turn white from the effort, black dots swim across his vision, and the remains of his strength dissipated. He collapses quite ungracefully onto his tiny corner bed. Dust danced in swirling patterns amongst him in a thick cloud as he shifts into a more comfortable position. His sore muscles ached roughly and a twinge of pain shoots through him. He hisses and convulses as the pain raked through him relentlessly. He flinches at the stark sound of his pain echoing in the heavy silence.

Silence; Natsu never enjoyed it. Frankly, he could say he hated it. There was always someone there with him, whether it was Happy or one of his nakama, and he never had to cope with silence. He never knew how lonely it could be. He never knew how maddening the silence could make you. Natsu was always at his best in crowds, with the commotion, the clamor, the _noise_. However, now only the simple slam of a door would make him cringe. Now, he _craved_ the silence. The silence now is like an old friend, familiar and safe.

Natsu closes his eyes. He sighs deeply and burrows further into the mattress. To think that he once complained that the mattress was too hard. How he longed for sleep. But, his mind be damned if it would allow him the blessing of precious rest. He stared long and hard at the ceiling, willing his mind to quell the rising fear of nightmares. Time ticked by slowly and his lids started to feel heavy. Eventually his need for sleep won over the fear of what awaits him in the dreamscape.

()()()()()()

_It is dark. No matter how long he stayed here, and he lost count ages ago not that he had anyway of knowing how to tell time in the pit, he never got used to the darkness. The shadows around him seemed alive and any chance it got it wrapped around him making sure that his eyes would not adjust. It is cold. The cool damp earth seeped through his clothes and chilled his very core. As a person that feeds off fire the environment raged against his senses and made him uncomfortable. It was his own personal hell. _

_He lay on the compacted earth of the pit in a corner. He stared into the nothingness because, well, he had nothing else to do. He inhaled the stale, frequently used air and curled into himself. He squeezed his eyes shut, not that it made much of a difference anyways, and fervently prayed to every higher being to forgive him for whatever sins he committed. No one answered. _

_Suddenly there was a warm familiar hand stroking through his hair. "It's okay Natsu. I'm here now; everything is going to be okay." Lucy's voice weighed heavy against the silence. He flinched back from the touch and scurried to the other side of the small little hole he now called home. "Natsu," she sounded hurt. "What's wrong Natsu? I- I thought you'd be happy to see me." He put his hands over his ears to block out the voice, _her _voice_._ He brought his knees up to his chest and started rocking back and forth. No, he was not allowed to use her voice. She was not here, he didn't _dare_ hope. The small delicate, but slightly calloused fingers grabbed frantically at his hands. He pulled away. Stop. The fingers were back now but rubbing his back soothingly, trying to calm him down. He moved away again. Stop! The fingers were now on his face, caressing it as _she_ liked to do. Stop. Stop! STOP! He lowered his hands only to realize that he had actually shouted. _

_The fingers still held his face, but they began to change. The fingers grew wider and rougher. The palm becoming larger and took up more of his face. "Oh Natsu." Her voice deepened out until it was a low timbre. The now male voice chuckled darkly. "Oh my dear little Natsu." The fingers stroked his cheeks tenderly. Natsu tried to struggle away but the fingers tightened on his face and held him in place. Hot breath tickled the shell of his ear and goosebumps rose where his breath hit. "I'm breaking you _Salamander_. Little piece, by little piece, I am breaking you. Your cracks are showing little one." The voice chuckled again. "Do you feel it yet? The life just draining out of you." Natsu shivered involuntarily. "Oh, my poor Natsu." The fingers that, mere minutes ago, were once Lucy's started to card through his hair in a phantasm of comfort and Natsu could do nothing but sit there, close his eyes and pretend that he was home again._

()()()()()()

Natsu gasped awake. He raked trembling fingers through his hair. He rubbed feverishly to get rid of the ghost feeling of the fingers. He wraps his arm around his middle and takes several deep calming breaths to regulate his still thundering heart. He exhales in short harsh tufts of air. He squeezes his eyes shut and wills the remains of the nightmare to fade away. Shivers rippled through his body roughly. Another pang of pain hits him and he curled further into himself.

His breathing gradually regulated and stopped its erratic rhythm. His shivers abated and the nightmare faded back into the depths of his mind. It was evident that he wasn't going to get any more sleep tonight. He huffed out a long, drawn out sigh. He seemed to be doing that more, sighing, and he hated it. He eased off the bed, mindful of his sore muscles, and limped to the front door. The cool fresh morning breeze washed over him and chilled his feverish skin. He tossed off his shoes and the plush grass cushioned his bare feet. He found his favorite tree and slid down the trunk.

He pulled up his knees to his chest hugged it to him tightly. He rested his chin on his knees and watched the sky shift from the cobalt blue of night to a soothing morning lavender. The birds in the trees started to sing and little eyes emerged from the depths of the trees. Natsu sat in quiet tranquility. He appreciated the serenity of it all. He never thought he would see the sky or feel the sun again. Even the pesky little bugs that once irritated him were a welcome reminder that he was _alive_. He lost himself in the beauty.

"N-Natsu?" He stiffened. The voice. No, it couldn't be. He started to hyperventilate and it became harder to differentiate between dream and reality. Fear coursed through him and anger followed just as quick. How could he fear a friend? But was he even sure this was all real? His breaths started to come out harsher and the beginnings of a panic attack began to form. _NO!_ He willed himself back to control. _She must not know. No one must know. No one can find out, no one. _"Is- is it really you?"

Natsu got up and steeled himself. He turned around slowly and heard her suck in a breath. He did the same. Fear, anger, pain, longing, all coursed through him within the span of the second he stared at her. A lot can happen in two years. She grew, her body now perfectly proportionate with her once overly sized boobs. Her hair was now longer. It lay in a ponytail atop her head with a huge baby blue bow and swung down to her lower back. She now wore a short sleeve white dress with a blue belt, which hung low on her hips, and boots to match her bow.

He inhaled a stuttering breath and forced a smile on his face. "Hey Lucy." Her eyes widened considerably and she gasped out a tiny breath, her face displaying emotion after emotion. She lurched forward in an attempt to hug him. Natsu filled with panic and stepped back. She stood where he was just standing looking rejected and confused. Her arms still open waiting for his embrace.

"What's wrong Natsu? I-I thought you'd be happy to see me… aren't you happy to see me?"

His eyes widened in horror at her words. It was impossible. It had to be her. Her words sliced through his remaining sanity. The panic started to rise again and he found it harder and harder to breathe. He felt her hands clawing at his skin and he heard her voice screaming his name. He couldn't control it anymore. He was tired, weak, and lonely. He wanted to let go and give up. And that was what he did. He felt the darkness engulf him and he plunged into the abyss of sweet forbidden dreamless sleep.

()()()()()()

The bed was even softer than the one in his house. He muddled through the remains of sleep. There were voices around him.

"What happened to him?" That was Happy's voice. He missed it but, just like Lucy, it sent a trill of fear in him. He cursed the man to hell. He ruined him and everything good for him. He truly broke Natsu.

"Happy, how long have you been in here?" Gramps. He almost wanted to smile, almost. His admonishing tones bringing back memories of a different time, a different era. "Let him have some peace." He wanted to shout and throw a temper tantrum. Peace was the last thing he wanted at the moment. He wanted the noise and disorder. He wanted to be hugged and welcomed back by his nakama. A small part of him, the tiny cynical voice that haunted his every dream, knew that he couldn't. It was a forbidden fruit to him.

Soft, cool hands landed on his forehead and he flinched despite himself. The small hand pulled back immediately. He opened his eyes to a girl he did not recognize. She had long black hair. Warm violet eyes framed by neatly cut bangs. He smiled apologetically and was rewarded by a quiet reserved smile and a slight shake of a head. She understood and held nothing against him. The silence still reined but it was no longer heavy. He enjoyed the silence in her presence. It was comfortable, companionable silence.

She turned away from him and grabbed something from behind her. A wet cold cloth now rested on his burning skin and he sighed in relief. The girl got up to leave and Natsu felt alarm at the thought of her going away. He grabbed her hand weakly to stop her. She froze. Her violet eyes turned back to him and stared in question. He tugged and she obediently sat back down in the chair. She looked at him with an intense gaze.

"W-", he winced at how hoarse he sounded. She quickly got up and came back with a small cup. She held the cup to his mouth patiently as he quenched his thirst. "What's your name?"

She graced him with another quiet smile. It was a smile that insinuated that they shared a secret joke and he found himself liking the idea. "Kiyomi." Her voice is quiet like her smile. It held the gentle caress of a lovely autumn breeze.

Natse grinned widely at that. "It suits you." She blushed beautifully and awe and unimaginable delight welled up in him. He found himself at ease in her company and he made himself more comfortable. He still held her hand and her gripped it lightly. "Please stay. Don't- don't go." He hated the catch in his voice. He hated sounding so needy and _weak._ What would Igneel say if he saw his protégée now, all feeble and pathetic? She squeezed his hand reassuringly and that was the last thing he remembered before he drifted off into his fitful nightmares.

()()()()()()

He woke up screaming in pain and felt old wrinkly hands rubbing soothingly against his brow. He recoiled from the touch and the hand withdrew slowly. He opened his eyes and saw Gramps with his thick white eyebrows furrowed. Natsu made eyes contact but then immediately looked away. He stared at his trembling hands on top of the sheets instead. He didn't want to see that pity, the deep wisdom that conveyed the sadness. He sat up slowly.

"Natsu," Natsu winced at the voice. He didn't' want it! He heard the sympathetic undertones of that one word. "How are you feeling?"

Natsu couldn't held but laugh bitterly at the inquisition. He sound coming out cold and harsh. "Oh, quite dandy really. Never better," he spat cynically. He watched as Gramps eyes widen in surprise then narrow in concern.

"Natsu, what- tell me what happened to you."

Natsu stared out of the small window in the small room. He could feel himself closing off and shutting the old man out. He didn't want to talk about it. He wondered where he was, he's never seen this room before. "I don't want to talk about," the fatigue he felt leaked into his voice. "I don't want to argue about how it might help me feel better or cope. I don't want some asinine therapy session. I don't want to remember and I would appreciate it if you would adhere to my request. Please, I would like to be left alone now." He finished quietly. He brokered no disagreement.

He didn't even look as the chair that Gramps was sitting on scraped against the floor announcing the old man's exit. "I-I'm sorry Natsu, for everything." He closed his eyes at the sadness in the voice. That was the voice of a parent that had failed their child. He heard the chink of the door as it closed and sank back down into the bed. He felt tired all the time now. The time that he spent too afraid to go to sleep was now coming back and biting him in the ass. He closed his eyes and even though he was home he still wished for home.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hello again. This chapter took way longer than I thought it would and college was way more time consuming than I thought it would be. Darn you television and you invoking of false realities. For those of you reading this story and your like "this story is so slow" or "this story is so weird" bear with me. It gets better I promise. There is an interesting story somewhere around here. Like I stated before I took liberties, several of them in fact, and I locked them in a room with our lovely spiky pink haired friend and thus let them beat him to a pulp. Natsu's been through some stuff and he has to heal. This however will take some time and then the action can begin. I also want to make known the name Golem is pronounced Go-lem not Gah-lem. Let me know all your feels and dislikes and likes. Tell me everything and ask questions, ask away. Sometimes your feedback help me become a better writer and to pick up on stuff that I haven't originally seen. Enjoy!

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FAIRY TAIL CHAPTER TWO

**WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT**

The sun was now setting and evening was fast approaching. Lucy sat at the bar in the guild nursing a half-empty drink. The brown liquid sloshed around the edges of her cup as she stirred it absentmindedly. The guild was eerily quiet. Whispers could be heard sparsely. No one had the heart to have fun anymore.

Lucy sighed heavily and downed the rest of her drink in one gulp. _Natsu_. Lucy stared out of a window sadly. He cut everyone off immediately after he recovered from what the Master diagnosed as a panic attack. No one has even seen a glimpse of him in two months. Her eyes rested briefly on Happy but quickly moved to look at something else.

Everyone treated her like a china doll, as if she was going to break and become a blubbering mess any minute. But Happy, everyone avoided the blue cat like he was the plague. After Natsu refused to see even him, Happy sat in a corner of the guild depressed. The poor neko wouldn't talk or eat. He would just sit there and stare blankly at the wall for hours. Not even Carla could cheer him up.

"Lucy," Mirajane called softly. Lucy looked at the aged beauty. Natsu's absence was taking its toll on everyone. "Would you like another?" The she-demon smiled softly but it didn't reach her eyes. Lucy nodded gratefully and returned the small sad smile. Natsu was, and still is, the life of the guild. She handed Lucy her drink and exhaled a soft breath. "I guess he just needs some time." It sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than anyone else. "Maybe if we're patient enough…"

"No." Both females whipped their heads to the blue Exceed. "He's had enough time. There's no more room left to hope." The girls winced at his cold dead voice. He had given up. After Happy lapsed back into silence, the entire guild followed suit.

The sound of the front door slamming open cut through the heavy silence making most flinch violently in surprise. Towering over the miserable guild stood Gildarts. He walked in slowly assessing the guild as he did every time he returned. It's been three years since Tenrou Island and Gildarts had left a few months after the missing seven years. No one knew why, one day he just disappeared. As he walked over to the bar where Lucy and Mirajane was his face gradually turned into a frown. Lucy couldn't look at him anymore. He was waiting, she realized. He was waiting for Natsu to come out of the shadows, as he does each time Gildarts returns, and attack him.

When he finally reached the bar, Gildarts was wearing a confused grimace. "Mirajane," his voice laced with bewilderment. "Is everything alright? Where is Natsu?" Everyone was once again startled by the blue neko. Happy rose up from his corner of dejection and flew away sobbing. Gildarts face automatically contorted in worry. "Mira, where is Natsu?" A few tears escaped her eyes and she scurried away from the wizard.

Lucy felt something rip her into tiny little pieces when he finally turned towards her. "Lucy?" Her heart shattered a bit more. The mighty and powerful Gildarts was now reduced to look like a lost, scared child. Natsu was like a son to the awkward adult. That part was evident from the first time she saw the interaction between the two.

"Gil- I-," Lucy stuttered. What could she possibly tell him? How could she make the news bearable? Natsu was gone leaving behind a shell of a human being. Whatever happened to Natsu in those two years changed him forever. Maybe Happy was right, maybe there was no more room left to hope.

"Please," he whispered brokenly. "Tell me where Natsu is."

Lucy sucked in a stuttered breath. "H-" The door slammed open again interrupting Lucy. Everyone turned to see a thunderous Ice Mage stalk towards the bar.

"He fucking burned me!" Gray growled once he reached the bar. He threw himself into the seat on the other side of Lucy and downed her forgotten drink in one go. "I went to see the slanty eyes bastard and he threw a fireball at me. He fucking burned my side." Lucy's eyes traveled to his left ribcage and indeed saw his skin was a blistering mess.

A growl on her right startled her and she flung herself around. Gildarts eyes were now narrowed into slits, all pretenses of lost child now gone. The worried parent persona now vanished and replaced by the powerful wizard who was not at all happy with what he saw. "Gray, tell me where Natsu is _now_."

Panic overwhelmed Lucy. Gildarts should not see Natsu right now, especially since Natsu seemed unstable. Plus, she wanted to protect Gildarts from what he might see. She has seen the Master after he had a talk with Natsu and it wasn't something she wanted to witness again. She was not completely sure Gildarts could handle it.

"H- His house," Gray stared wide eyed at Gildarts. No one has ever seen Gildarts like this, ever. Before anyone could take another breath Gildarts was already through the door. Not knowing what else to do, Lucy followed him. She sprinted to keep up with his long strides.

By the time Natsu's house came into view, Lucy was breathing heavily. She felt lightheaded from exhaustion but she refused to give up. They both needed someone there, a mediator of sorts. She almost ran into Gildarts who had stopped dead in his tracks. His posture was rigid and tense. She peeked around his wide figure and saw Natsu much like how she had first found him.

Natsu looked like he wanted to curl up into himself until there was nothing left. His face was a blank mask bereft of emotion. He was still too thin for her liking but he seemed to have gained back some muscles, and then some. He was probably working out a lot. She snuck a peek at the redheaded wizard and saw a look of relentless pain etched in every line of his face. His face personified her inner feelings for the past couple of months. If it was possible, her heart broke even further. This was exactly what she was afraid of.

"Natsu," Gildarts whispered brokenly. Lucy backed away to give them space but kept close enough to keep an eye on the two. Neither even seemed to register her presence. Natsu didn't look at the tall wizard. One would have thought he didn't hear him if not for the tiny tell tale twitch of his fingers on his legs. "Please Natsu look at me." Natsu shuddered violently and closed his eyes. When he opened them, he fixed his dead stare on Gildarts.

"Leave," Natsu said haltingly. Gildarts stumbled backwards as if Natsu's words were a physical blow. "Just go away."

Gildarts looked so stricken that it brought tears to Lucy's eyes. "Natsu please." What Gildarts was asking for no one knew, not even himself. Natsu stared at him blankly for one more minute then turned back to looking at the sky. "Natsu," Gildarts voice carried a more stern undertone.

Natsu's jaw clenched and his eyes opened into slits. "What!? What is it you people want from me? Is it too much to ask to be left alone. I had to burn Gray just so he would leave me in peace?" Natsu heaved a shattered sigh. He turned away and mumbled something. Lucy couldn't make out what is was, but Gildarts heard it and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Mourn? What does that mean? Who are you mourning Natsu? What happened?" Gildarts confusion was now bordering on panic.

Natsu looked up at the moon. The pale moonlight highlighted his features. He, in that moment, looked like a sad majestic dragon. "Myself, my happiness, my life, take your pick. They have all died. I have died."

Lucy closed her eyes. The tears rolling rapidly down her face. She wishes she could help him or do something. She felt completely and utterly helpless. Her best friend, and she had to just watch him suffer. She couldn't take it anymore and jumped out of the bushes. She ran full speed and slammed into the unsuspecting Dragon Slayer. She felt him stiffen next to her but she only held tighter. "Let us help you Natsu. If you are dead then let your nakama bring you back to life. We're here for you. Please let don't shut us out. We love you." He relaxed a bit more into her grip but didn't hug her back. She didn't care, small miracles.

"Natsu, what's going on? What happened to you? Who did this to you?" Gildarts voice separated the two. Lucy stayed very close to Natsu. Gildarts was back to his mighty wizard persona. He wanted answers and he was going to get them.

A dark look passed over Natsu's face. "I'm not ready yet. Don't make me talk about it. Please." The last word coming out in a shattered whisper.

"Natsu you need help. You can't go through this by yourself. You just burned your friend. You're not stable Natsu. In order to help you you need to tell us what happened."

()()()()()

"In order to help you, you need to tell us what happened." Natsu cringed internally. No one could know. They couldn't see the blackness that tainted his mind. He felt dirty and unworthy of them.

"I am not ready," Natsu stated through clenched teeth. Why couldn't they understand? He was stained, spoiled, infected. He wasn't the same Natsu, the Natsu that was worthy of such friends. He wanted them, he yearned for them but he could not have them. He wouldn't let himself have them. He didn't deserve them, they didn't deserve him. If they knew what happened they would spurn him in disgust. He didn't know if he could handle that. It was better this way. It would best to keep them at a far distance, at least he would still have them.

"Natsu it isn't healthy to keep something that is affecting you this much bottled inside. In order to heal yourself you have to tell someone. We just want to help son."

Natsu spun around at the word son. Gildarts looked at him intensely. "H- I- Y- I – I want to be taken to Porlyusica," he managed to finally get out. Gildarts was visibly disappointed and once again confused but he nodded his consent.

They all walked silently to the old woman's house. He was quietly taking comfort from Lucy's presence. She didn't have to be there but he was happy that she was. They dropped him off at the healer's house then left. He had to persuade them heavily. Natsu knocked on Porlyusica's door. She swung the door open and looked like a demented vulture. Natsu flinched back in surprise. The old woman stared at him intensely then let him in silently.

"Would you like something to drink?" She said uncharacteristically soft spoken. Natsu shook his head. He stood awkwardly until the pink haired woman sighed in frustration. "Sit down boy. It is obvious you have something to talk about otherwise you wouldn't be here. Why you would come to me is beyond me."

Natsu sat down gingerly on one of her armchairs across from her. For a hermit, she definitely had a lot of lounging furniture for copious amounts of company. "You were the only person I could think of. Surprising as that is." Natsu shifted uncomfortably. He knew that he needed to talk about his problems; he just didn't want to talk about it with his nakama. Even though telling Porlyusica was a better alternative, it still made him uneasy.

"Have you ever heard of Golem?" With that question, Porlyusica's entire demeanor changed and she leaned in more attentive.

"If that is the case, tell me everything." Her face is a grave ashen expression. She looked scared. Natsu felt his unease increase. She knew then, there was no going back so Natsu spilled everything while the healer listened with pallid skin and a melancholy expression.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hey guys! Here's a new chapter for you. It's relatively short. I apologize. One thing that I want to clarify with you before you dive into the story is that I did use the name Nightmare King. It's towards the end of the story in case your wondering. Anyhoo I know that the Nightmare King is Pitch from Rise of the Guardians and I want to say that _this is not the same person._ I just decided to borrow the name because it fit the image I wanted to create and it just sounds cool. With that said I hope you guys feel welcome enough to tell me how you feel and what your though process is like. If you have any questions just let me know and any comments are welcome even the nasty ones cause those are kinda funny to read. Enjoy!

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FAIRY TAIL CHAPTER THREE

**WITH BROKEN HEARTS WE FALL**

Natsu woke to the sun shining high in the sky. The heat warmed his insides. The unhealthy pallor of his skin was starting to gain back some color. After explaining everything to Polyrusica Natsu went back home. He arose from the hard packed earth outside his house. He stopped sleeping in his bed after his first couple of mornings he found himself outside under his favorite tree. Now Natsu just slept on the ground.

He felt groggy and the tears that were let loose last night were now dried and caked onto his skin. Natsu decided that he was in need of a bath. Natsu headed to the river down the hill. A soft female voice drifted to him in the soft morning breeze singing a slow sad tune. He looked towards the edge of the river and saw Kiyomi washing a basket of clothes. He hid behind a tree and let out a raspy breath. Ever since that day he met her she was a soothing balm to his madness. There was something about her quiet nature that chased away his bad dreams. He had yet to speak to her after passing out when he just met her but she plagued him as much as the nightmares. He didn't even know how to approach her.

He gathered his courage and exited from his hiding place. "A happier tune would suit you better," he said loudly, announcing himself. She gasped cutely and dropped the sheet she was washing in the river. Her violet eyes widened as she plunged her hands after it. With a sopping wet sheet and dress, she sent him a crooked frown and lax glare. "Do you want help?" She smiled that smile that did something to his insides and shook her head. "Do you mind if I sit with you for a while?" She again shook her head and began washing the sheet again.

"You look healthier," she said after they sat in comfortable silence. "You gained some weight."

Natsu gave her a side glance. "Is that your way of saying I'm fat?"

She giggled behind her hand. Natsu stared at her in wonderment. He was… enjoying himself. He was having fun. His life seemed so bleak that he thought he would never know what joy was again. He never thought that happiness would ever be an option for him. Natsu was so into his dark thoughts that her small hand that touched his cheek made him recoil within himself. She pulled back her hand slowly. Her big violet depths filled with an old kind of sadness. It turned her eyes into a lovely shade of mauve.

"I-I I'm sorry," Natsu whispered. He felt her tiny fingers wrap around his rough calloused palm. He looked at her with sorrowful eyes. He didn't deserve her or anything. He was a dirty coward.

Her hand squeezed him back into reality. "You have nothing to be sorry about." Her voice washed over his insanity.

"Who are you?" he asked softly. She smiled again. He stared as her small dusty rose lips as they moved into the smile, parting just a bit for air.

"I am a friend Natsu. I am only one of the many you have," her gaze intensified and he found it hard to look away. "You are not alone Natsu. You have people who are willing to help you and take care of you. Do not waste your good fortune. You are lucky to have so much."

"I-I-" She only giggled at his stuttering. She squeezed his hand once more then moved away. With the wet clothes in the basket she got up and attached it to her hip. "You could just ask Juvia to wash those for you; I'm sure she wouldn't mind doing it," Natsu said following behind her.

"I would not bother her with such a trivial thing as laundry. I am capable; I will do it myself." She stopped at the clothes line and handed him the basket, which he took without a word. She started to put the clothes on the line and Natsu accompanied her silently. He tried not to laugh as she struggled to put the sheet on the line. She was so short and petite that even on her tippy toes she only grazed the bottom of the line. He moved to help her and his hand brushed hers. A spark ran through him and made him gasp. She pulled away from him with wide eyes mirroring his own.

"Did you feel that?" she whispered.

He grinned. "Yes I did," he whispered back mockingly. She stuck her tongue out at him and he only laughed. He finished putting the sheet on the line and raised a teasing eyebrow.

"Humph," she huffed. "You are so…" she struggled for the word.

"Cute, adorable, wise, amazing, cuddly," he said the last word with another grin.

They were so into their little banter that the gasp, that was right behind them, made both of them jump. Natsu's instinct pulled Kiyomi behind him and tensed his body into a fighting stance. Standing with hands in the surrender positions were his nakama. Lucy, Gray, Erza, and Gildarts all stood with wide disbelieving eyes.

"You-you smiled," whispered Lucy. She looked so shell-shocked that Natsu shirked away. Was it that bad? When did his nakama stop expecting his smiles? He lost himself in his thoughts once more. Kiyomi's small hand, so familiar now, touched his and weaved her dainty fingers through his own rough ones. He looked down at her and she met his eyes with nothing but support.

"I owe you guys an apology and an explanation," he said not able to look at them.

"You think. It's about freaking time too," yelled Gray. The rest of the group glared at him but he just shrugged.

"I- I don't know if I'm ready to relive what happened…" his voice trailed off. The images of the past two years flickering like a broken slideshow. Image after image of his awful experience flashed behind his eyelids. There was a squeeze in his hand and he looked down to see the death grip he had on Kiyomi's hand.

Lucy stepped forward and looked at him shyly. "You don't have to tell us if you don't want to but at least let us be there for you." He felt tears prickle his eyes and everything turned blurry. The warmth of Kiyomi's hand left him as Lucy engulfed him in a hug. It felt like he was coming home.

()()()()()

Porlyusica paced her small quarters like a caged animal. The severe lines on her face deepened making her look like a manic hawk. There was a timid knock on her door and she swung it open. Makarov stood there looking old and a bit wary of her mood. She pulled him in by his collar and checked to see if anyone saw him come in. Once she was satisfied she slammed the door shut and activated her privacy wards that she had Freed install weeks ago. She spun around to face Makarov and watched as he sunk further into his seat to avoid what he thought was her wrath. Porlyusica sighed and poured the two of them tea and sat across from her old friend.

"Natsu came to me last night," she stated blatantly.

Makarov blinked at her then his lip tightened and sadness filled his black depths. "I was not aware." His voice was husky and he took a sip of the spice tea she liked to make.

"Gildarts and Lucy brought him to me. He asked to see me." She could see his disappointment. "He told me everything Makarov. What happened with him and who did it." Fairy Tail's Master's head shot up from its dejected position so quickly it was a wonder the old man didn't get whiplash.

"Please Porlyusica you have to tell me what's happened. I have been driving myself insane with all of the wild theories. I don't know what to think."

Porlyusica looked at the short man with a grave expression. "You are not going to like my answer."

"Please I am begging you. It's killing me that I can't help him. I see him and I think of how I failed to protect him. As a part of my guild Natsu is like a son to me and it physically pains me to see him so lost. Poly, please."

"Don't call me Poly!" she snapped. "I will tell you, so stop your groveling. It was why I called you here in the first place. It is the only reason I would openly invite you in my home. I promised the boy that I wouldn't tell anyone but this is worth breaking that promise." Makarov leaned in expectantly. "He was taken by Golem."

Porlyusica watched as her friends wrinkled features transform into a mask of horror. "The Dragon Slayer?" She nodded and watched solemnly as Makarov put his face in his hands. "My poor boy," She could hear the tears in his voice. "No one lives through an experience with the Nightmare King. Natsu is lucky."

"Natsu is strong. He escaped before Golem could shred the last of his sanity but the damage is done. Natsu will never be the same."

Porlyusica spent the rest of the evening comforting her old friend as best she could and hoped that Fairy Tail could handle what was to come. Once Golem had a toy he would not let it leave until it was broken. And that usually meant dead.


End file.
